What is the answer to
the age-old question? I know you know the question. What is the source of
happiness? I mean true happiness.
This question irks all
of us to the extent that extensive research has been carried out in the hope of
finding an answer. The answer did not lie in achievement neither did it lie in
success. The answer lay not in wealth, nor power, nor beauty. The answer lay in
relationships. Wait what? Yes. It was in relationships. We are talking about
research here.
This does not in any
way mean that if you are not in a relationship, there’s no hope of being happy.
It only means that if you are in a fulfilling relationship, you are likely to
find happiness.
We all long for
acceptance and a sense of belonging. We want a sense of belonging in our homes,
we want a sense of belonging in our workplaces and businesses; we want a sense
of belonging wherever we go. We want to feel accepted.
Sometimes, in order to
find true happiness you have to know when you are in inappropriate/unsuccessful
relationships. The next few articles will talk about what causes relationships
to end. It is good to understand these causes in order to avoid wrecking the
relationships we have and lose the one chance to find true happiness.
Cheating
I have heard people
call it the forbidden fruit, and ‘it tastes damn good!’ they say. Well, it
probably shouldn’t. It only tastes good if you are trying to prove a point to
yourself. By the time you cheat, things might already have gone wrong in your
current relationship. Many cheat because they want to test whether the grass is
greener on the other side, many more cheat because they want to experiment,
others cheat just because they don’t respect their partners, and others cheat
because they don’t get enough attention from their partners.
There are incalculable
reasons why people cheat. Whatever the reason, the one cheating should always
remember that there are consequences. You hurt your lover pretty badly.
Some couples are able
to get over an infidelity incident but others are not. A relationship is all
about commitment and infidelity means you have broken that commitment. If you
are to get through a cheating incident, the ‘cheater’ has to be ready to work
to get their lover to trust them again; which takes time. The victim has to be
willing to work things out too.
Emotional baggage
This is one major reason
why some once fabulous relationships end up in the ditch. Some people have had
traumatic childhoods or traumatic past relationships. The crucial thing in such
a case is for the one who has had such a childhood to accept that it happened,
examine how it affects the current relationship, and be willing to get help for
it.
Nowadays, going to seek
help is not a preserve of the ‘serious cases’. We all need a release of some
sort. Professional help does wonders in helping you deal with emotional issues
and emotional confusion. When you seek help you can turn things around. If left
unchecked, you are never going to be able to form long lasting meaningful
relationships. It would help if the other partner understands that it was through
no fault of your own that you went through a traumatic childhood. An
understanding lover makes the world of difference in such matters.
Unfortunately, emotional baggage can ruin a relationship.
In the next article, we
will definitely continue talking about these issues. Keep an eye out!
