It’s possible to have a
deep and fulfilling relationship with your partner but it is also possible to
have a toxic and destructive relationship. Most times, we are so engrossed in
what the other person did, what they didn’t do, what they should have done, why
they reacted the way they did, why they couldn’t have reacted in another way,
whether we are happy, whether the grass is greener on the other side, what life
would be like without them, why you can’t go back to the honeymoon phase and so
much more, that we don’t stop to think and ask, what truly defines a
good/healthy relationship. Is your relationship healthy despite the challenges?
Don’t despair. There is
light at the end of the tunnel. Conflicts are not necessarily signs of a bad
relationship. It might also help you to know that there is something you can do
to turn around your relationship.
Love
You can’t explain love
in mere words. Love is deep; it’s when you know even after an argument, you
trust your partner still. It’s when you cannot go a day without thinking about
your partner’s well-being. It’s when you have conflict and become best friends
the next minute. You can rarely classify love into the category ‘feelings’
only.
There is much more to
love than how you feel. Love is about putting yourself in your lover’s shoes
all the time/at least most of the times. It’s accepting you have weaknesses and
you are not perfect. Love is conviction that wherever you are, your lover is
thinking of you. It is about knowing when you are treating your partner right
and when you are treating them contrary. Above all, love is treating your
partner as you would yourself. It conquers any argument, conflict, difference
in personalities and difference in tastes.
If you have accepted
your partner as they are, then you love them and that is one good sign your
relationship is healthy.
Trust
A relationship is in no
way an affair about lack of privacy. What your partner thinks belongs to
him/her. You shouldn’t find the need to snoop or pry into their private matters
because you know he/she has good thoughts. However, to get to such a point, it
requires a great deal of trust. If you find your partner not trusting you, then
there are things you do that make him/her not trust you and vice versa. Trust
is when you are separated by miles but still have the deepest conviction that
your partner only has eyes for you.
A relationship without
trust is like a gear wheel that’s not well oiled; it might not stop, but it will definitely wear
out both wheels. In essence, what I mean is that lack of trust can wear
couples out. You will be worn out if your partner does not trust you and you
can wear out your partner if you don’t trust him/her.
The solution would be
to sit down and talk about what makes you feel insecure and if your partner is
empathetic, try and realize that they are not there to hurt you. However, if
you can’t trust your partner, something is usually almost wrong. When you find
the right partner, you never have to worry about being insecure, unless there’s
a pretty good reason. If you have recently lost trust in your partner or vice
versa, IT CAN WORK if both parties are willing to work to getting each other to
trust them once again.
Trust is also about
treating your partner in the right way. Your partner should trust that you will
not hurt them and vice versa. However, it is crucial to note that jealousy does
occur and it’s normal, but it shouldn’t cripple conversation or lead to one
partner hurting the other, either by words or physically. It should be solved
amicably.
If you trust your
partner and they trust you, you are in a healthy relationship!
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